Inter-generational conflict resolution with toddlers

My kids have graduated from toddlers to late preschool and kindergarten. It has been a long and hard journey to get to this sweet spot, a sort of golden age of raising kids. So I thought it would be a good idea to memorialize my observations of conflict resolution with toddlers here.

First, I’d like to give praise to the work of Dr. Ross W. Greene in two books well worth reading for any parent:

• The Explosive Child
• Raising Human Beings

I highly recommend them to all parents, even if you think your kids are “normal”. Those books completely changed my outlook not just on raising children, they inspired me to make a life change in how I approach everyone. As a result of those two books, I now have greater empathy and compassion for others. I never have to take anything personally again, from anyone. Those two books taught me more than any other, that suffering is just a stage of our development.

My experience raising kids has given me new insight into temper tantrums. If you’re a parent, you’ve seen them in all their glory. I’ve seen my kids with tears streaming down their cheeks, arms flailing, ear splitting screaming, and uncontrollable crying. I’ve been there. After reading those two books, and many more in my life, I have learned and applied the skill of talking down a temper tantrum.

Kids exhibit temper tantrums not because they are bad kids, but because they “lack the skills to respond…