I am a parent and I can appreciate your views. However, I’m not so sure that ignoring a child is the right thing to do. I also saw the comment about Love and Logic, and I was not really enthused by that approach.

The best approach that I have seen by far is this:

Here, we learn to see challenging behavior as a signal not a cause. Challenging behavior is a sign of lacking or lagging skills. Challenging behavior is a sign that a person lacks the skills to respond proactively to the demands of the environment.

I live this way. I teach my kids the skills they need to overcome the problems they encounter, and I know when they’re frustrated. Their frustration shows up in challenging behavior. No confrontation, no criticism, no assumptions. I just talk with them.

I’ve actually talked with my toddler kids through their tantrums. I just sit and keep talking until they can find a way to calm themselves down. It works every time because they have to set aside their feelings while I’m talking with them, gently, calmly, serenely. They have to set aside their feelings to use logic required for communications. Like responding to what I’m saying.

Anyway, this is what works for me. Perhaps your methods are more comfortable for you now, and even if they are, you might want to consider 40 years of empirical evidence to support Dr. Greene’s approach. I did and I’m happier for it.

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Husband, father, worker, philosopher, and observer. Plumbing the depths of consciousness to find the spring of happiness. Write on.

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