At the Bottom of All of My Politics is a Wish for Peace and Happiness
And today, I’m sick as a dog.
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Across the decades, I have watched people who have pursued personal and public quests for power from afar. I’ve seen how people get when they have power. They always want more. It never makes them happy. It never goes the way they wanted. People won’t always do what we want them to, even if we think we have the power to tell them, just what to do.
People can just change their minds.
I’ve met a few people with power. I’ve been in their houses. I’ve been to their parties. No matter how well they dress, or how much bling they wear, they’re still human. They can’t hide their frailties, their desires, or their regrets. Under the paint, the doorjambs still show their scars.
I used to admire Johnny Depp. In some ways I still do. But after reading about his surreal fight in court, with Amber Heard defecating on the bed and him abusing her, I could see a man who could have anything — anything! — he wanted, but he could not make the decision to be happy. We know because it’s a matter of public record now.
I look back on all of the stars who died so young—Heath Ledger, River Phoenix, Kurt Kobain, John Belushi, to name a few. I admired them for their fire, and how they turned their power on to create something we could entertain ourselves with. And they had no peace.
I am sick today same as the last two days. When I’m sick, my wife gets nervous. I know this because she criticized me yesterday for eating too much dried mango as if that was the singular reason for my persistent cough. But I have long since learned that this is how she transacts love. I no longer take offense to it anymore.
When my mom worries about me, I remind myself that’s how she transacts love for her kids. That’s how she demonstrates love for us. I don’t think I have ever taken offense to it. I understand that her expressions are how she copes with her relationship with me. If she were to stop worrying about me, then I would have cause for concern.
My father was raised by parents who would only buy him one shirt and one pair of pants for school. That’s all he got from kindergarten to high school. His sister got only one…
